hopeless romantic is not my role. however, my better half defines the term. and i am head over heels for the man.

i think Valentines Day has got to be one of the most ridiculous holidays.  the fact it's an actual "holiday" kind of nauseates me. but i have to say, over time i've become, not so heartless. (for lack of a better word)  While i could spend pages expressing my disdain for the 14th of February, i'd like to instead do the complete opposite. I'd like to take five minutes and express my love for this man.  

The road that brought me and this sexy beast together was a complicated one. it was a painful one. and it was a confusing one. But it was ours. and no one, not even the retched fat baby with an arrow, can make me forget that, even for a moment. We had 28,452 reasons not to get married. but we had ONE little thing called love that refused to let us go. I remember the first time i ever laid eyes on Seth. I didn't feel butterflies or get stupid giddy like i did with every other guy with two legs, i instead felt calm. He made me smile, a deep inside of my soul, smile. His energy for life refreshed my mind constantly, and nothing ever felt heavy or cloudy in his presence. We've been able to talk about anything and everything since day one, and no other man in this world has ever been able to hold or decode my heart, like he has.

He's special. A very real, visually able to see and feel kind of special. His genuine heart permeates through his eyes. Our girls have those same eyes. When i look at them i see him. and i truly believe that's why i love them so dang much. Our journey hasn't been easy. it's been a storybook fairytale. Complete with demons, towers with locked away hearts, battlefields, and slaying of dragons... but like every good fairytale, all those things make for an even sweeter happily ever after.

This Valentines i had what some might call an epiphany. Time sort of stood still. I was sitting on the couch and i looked over and saw Gracie in my mom's arms, sharing her sucker all over her sweatshirt... both of them just laughing. my Dad was helping Nicci with a heart puzzle and Seth was looking at our girls, adoring them, taking in every sound, image, smell.  It was all so... perfect. He looked over at me and mouthed the words "i love you", with a wink. In that moment i don't know that i've ever felt my heart expand in the way it did. It was, in a very literal way, breathtaking.

Yes, life is hard. Damn near impossible some days. but im finding that love really is that double rainbow after all the thunder and lightning. and even though i may boycott the one day of the year dedicated to that four letter word, i actually very much enjoyed it this year.

and one last thing i'd like to say to my husband.
Darling, i have loved you for a thousand years, and ill love you for a thousand more.
xoxo